Her Jason
by MojoFix
Summary: Nicky tries to explain why she could love Jason.One-shot


She felt him before she saw him, on her way to work, on the way back, when she was shopping – he was everywhere. She ignored it for a while because he wouldn't hurt her. She knew it wasn't anyone else, so she didn't run. She would give him a chance to show himself.

That was two weeks ago, now she was just bored of his cat and mouse game. She got to her top floor studio apartment and stood outside the door.

"I know you're here somewhere, Jason. Just come out and stop pissing me off." Then she unlocked the door and went inside. Sure enough, fifteen minutes later he picked the lock on her door. She was waiting for him.

"Close the door behind you." He stayed silent, but did as she'd asked. She was at the small dining table, a tall glass of water in front of her. Her make up was a little smudged from her day at work, and her face was tired. He too, looked tired. Dark circles lay under his eyes; the lines around his mouth had deepened. He had aged, in just a few short years. Three years since he'd plunged into the East River. "What do you want?" Her voice was calm, and her body language gave nothing away.

"I came to check on you." She tried not to laugh at him.

"Do you remember yet?" His blue eyes flickered to hers.

"No, not everything." She nodded, slowly. It was all very precise. She calculated then came to a conclusion.

"Please leave." Their eyes met and she noticed his surprise before he could cover it. "I'm not trying to be rude, or ungrateful for you looking after me. You sent me away, Jason. You don't remember me. Until you do…"

"You want me to stay away?" She nodded. He noticed a tremble in her hand, but that was it. Nothing else gave her away. "What if I never remember?" There! He spotted it. Her breath hitched and pain flashed behind her eyes. She said nothing. "You and I, we knew each other. Before all this, right?" Another short nod. "Do you know my real name?"

"David Webb." No emotions in her voice. Strange, he noticed.

"Why did you never call me David?" She smiled a bit at that. Just a tiny quirk of her lips.

"You're not David." It was simple, she just shrugged it off.

"That's who I was, before I was Jason." Another shrug.

"I didn't love the man before Jason Bourne. I didn't know him. You'll always be Jason to me, I'm sorry if that upsets you." She stood and washed the glass. It hadn't been empty.

"Jason Bourne was a murderer!" He was close to losing his cool now, and reminded himself to slow down.

"He was a lot of things."

"Why did you love him?"

"Why did Marie love you?"

"She thought I was a good man…" she put the glass on the drying rack and turned back to face him.

"There you go then."

"You don't though. She would have called me David."

"I'm not her, Jason. Please leave."

"Not until you tell me why. Why did you love a man like Jason?"

"He was…" she didn't finish and he was getting angry.

"He was what, Nicky, he was what?" She looked up sharply, as if she'd forgotten he was there.

"My Jason… he was strong, invincible, beautiful." Her eyes softened and she smiled. Not at him but at some far away memory of man he once was. "He was passionate, and terrifying all at the same time. Yes, he was a stone cold killer. Yes, he had a scary, feral side, but above that there was fierceness in him that you can't hope to match. He loved me, trusted me, and respected me, cared about me. He always kept his promises. He marked me as his own." Then her eyes met his, the brown shining with unshed tears. "I was his world, in that small apartment in Paris. I was his world. I mourn my loss everyday. You wear his body, sure, but you'll never be my Jason. And you'll never be my David. You'll never have the kindness or the cruelty either of them had. You'll never be them, never hope to match them." She stood up straight. "Please leave."

"If I remember?"

"If you remember anything about me, then you'll know exactly where I'll be and when. Jason and I had a whole plan. It was all sorted out. Protocol, rules, it was all fixed. When you remember." Then she grabbed the bag from under the bed. It was already packed. She took her coat and left him standing there.


End file.
